never been in love

I just realized
I have never been in love
I have never felt the true love of a man who loves me
dedicated 50/50 love
never felt it and I fear I never will
there is a void inside me that needs this feeling
this love feeling
I have had physical love
physical attraction
good sex, physical attraction,
I just have never felt love in the mind
In my body
I have felt love on my skin,
But never deep within it
where love goes.

wounds

wounds do not have to be made in the flesh, sometimes they can be made in the heart,

in the soul,

wounds can be made by ourselves

or they can be made by others words and actions,

wounds, bleeding, open, sore,

swim throughout

slithering into my mind, to remind me that I am human

wounds can be made by sadness

and can be made by memories

Even if the one with the knife doesn't see acknowledge the blood.

apprehensive world

Is the world apprehensive?

To accept the new order,

Where citizens do not stand back and take the corporate slaughter

that our parents were accepting,

They bought and bought and bought,

No questions asked,

Times were good,

So they could buy what they wanted,

borrow, borrow, borrow,

no consequences,

until now

our parents made this world materialistic,

truly not knowing what was to come,

They did not know that our economy is/was an onslaught of failure,

Or that it would become so,

Did they?

Is the world going to see this and open their eyes?

You educated us all!!

now we are told to close our eyes?

Shame on your corporate government!

Shame on your fake lobbyists!,

Your business allies.

The Idea of my Belief

I am deeply rooted in what I believe,
Just as you are rooted in yours,
I can back up my belief with stories and granduer,
Just as you can yours,
I can seize my beliefs and live in them and devote myself,
I can live my life based on its teachings,
I can sit in the pew of devotion and see without your direction,
I can see on my own,
I know what I know just as you do,
I believe what I know that much more.

I have been thinking again...oh no!

The last couple of years have been really eye opening for me. I have noticed so much that I almost wish I could just drop everything I have been working on for 6 years and move onto a different stage in my life. I feel incomplte not doing more. More with myself. I feel I have a greater purpose. I know I have a purpose as a mother and a sister and daughter granddaughter and all that but I am talking about the greater purpose that describes people's lives that did more and made the world notice things they never would have noticed before. I have been frustrated by the same issues Occupy Wall Street is frustrated with but now frustration has turned to anger and anger to rage, and rage to pure disobedience to every norm we are taught to follow. There has not been an uprising in this nation since who knows when. I even tried to just look it up and all I got on Google was results of Arab Spring and the protests in Libya, Egypt, Syria and so forth. Pretty interesting huh?? I put in when was the last uprising in US History and those are the results I got. Oh and slave uprising was another result.
This country has always been for the rich if you think about it. The working poor have been fighting against rules and laws that oppress them for hundreds of years but that is not even unique at all to the United States. Great Britian, now United Kingdom, France, everywhere, Europe, Africa, and Asia, all over the world. The United States ranks 24th out of 30 industrialized nations in our students academic skills. 37th ranking in our health care system, link below:
http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp0910064
The very entity, which is education, that will ensure the progress of our nation in every way is the very entity that will be gripped by corporate greed. Instead of our schools being run by school districts, corporations will come in and make our schools run by businesses then in turn that will create more poverty because when a corporation runs an institution, nothing is free so they will start charging us for every little thing we need to ensure our child is educated. There is an issue in every single inner city school in this nation and that is the lack of commitment and lack of dealing with the issues outside of the school that will ensure that it stay in the condition that it is in. Lack of decent teachers, lack of funding, lack of parental involvement, lack of commitment from staff and administrators, the list goes on and on.
Every institution serves a purpose, and I believe the idea of these institutions in this nation were invented to serve one population and one population only. That is the wealthy, white-European, population. It has always been that way. There have been presidents whom came from a modest background and Senators who are completely dedicated to their job as a representative of their country and their community but corporate involvement economically and fundamentally in the government is the core of the problem in our modern day.

how are we going to cover this?

oh my gosh did you see the news,
How are they going to cover this?
Pointing fingers and playing games,
The corporate media is the best source of news right?
They are thinking now "How are we going to cover this?"
I tell you how,
They will demonize.
They will say we are crazy,
They will say we are just trying to get people worked up,
There is no true ruling class right?
They will become scared and say anything,
Fox News will definitely say that OWS is silly, it is a nonsensical entity that will die off soon,
Isn't it crazy what happens when people are allowed to learn?
Education has provided for this movement,
Education has created the minds that occupy this movement,
Everything else is silly now,
There is no going back,
Finally every nation will see we will not accept it either!
We will not sit back as we have for decades,
Is it too late to change?
People have beheaded kings, ousted governments throughout history,
The people have become the object for change,
Th commercials teach our children what to want,
The tv teaches our kids how they should act,
The news tells us what to think about society,
The media is thinking how are we going to cover this?
"Let's cover the people getting arrested so everyone can see how crazy these protesters are"
Instead of showing the livestream of coverage in Times Square or hearing the testimonies of thousands of people in the virtual march on wall street, they will show the hundreds of people getting arrested for expressing their human right to stand up against tyranny!!!!

why?

If one feels that the treasons of wall street are so great,
How can one not become enraged?
If their home has been taken and their livelihood shattered,
Their children's lives altered negatively,
How can one not become saddened by the state of affairs?
Right now there is an undefined movement,
Created doubt where the media has left a void,
People see the occupy wall street as a joke,
Conservatives reduce its meaning to a laughing matter and yet still thousands join the movement,
Why is it OK that home loans became an instrument for a certain few to get rich by way of deceit and predatory tactics?
It is not OK but what is to be done?
How can a few little people, strained by a new society different than that of their ancestors,
become the instrument for change?
I do not have the answer.
It is complex, deep, secluded from the movement because there is so much to bitch about that it is hard to find just one thing!
It is hard for me to reduce the Occupy Wall St as a joke that deserves conservative analysis, mindless detached analysis,
It is small now, scattered people, scattered ideas trying to find a conclusion,
Trying to find a meaning, maybe also trying to just find an answer,
Maybe it is the greed of the wealthiest citizens of this nation that take and take from the bucket,
and do not give,
They give corporate galas, fundraisers, parties, museum donations, charity auctions and charity fundraisers,
Yet the real problems require intense Action, such as the reform of the education system,
The reform of the government as a whole to separate it from the control of corporations,
Caution is not a factor, tolerance has been tolerated for too long.

right to live YOUR life

I know that the basis for my beliefs is that all people have a right to live their life, believe what they want, and be whatever they want to be. Meaning: If somebody is gay, I am not offended, I do not feel they owe an explanation to myself or the rest of society, nor do I think that a homosexual deserves to be ostracisized from society for their sexual preference. I do not believe gay people are sexual deviants, I do not feel that gay people have a choice in what their sexual preference is. If someone is gay they are gay and there is no hiding it. Even if a man is married for 20 years and has children and maybe even grandchildren and he is truly gay it will come out. He will not live his entire life in the lie of being married to a woman. Denying one their right to their sexual preference is like denying their right to breath. Another example: I am fascinated by people whom make no excuses for their life, their beliefs, regardless of what others may say or do to them. The person who can be totally open about what is in their mind is the person who can understand themselves and the world around them better. Fear comes from that which we do not know. Fear of the unknown is the driving force behind many issues in America today. Religion in America has a tinge of fear to it because if one is not religious it is almost impossible to get someone who is to believe that you are a rational person. So fear is created for people who are not adherent to God and christianity of any kind. There is fear on the end of the religious toward the non-religious and vise-versa. Back to the concept of being what you are. Isn't it a lie if one does not live to what they feel inside they are as a person? Isn't it a blatant lie to ones self if they do not adhere to their own indoctrinations about life and the world around them. All this is coming from my crazy mind of course as some may say but really my point is directed toward those who judge others, those who do not keep an open mind, those who view people who are different from them as bad. My obsession lately has been: Why do human beings hold judgement for those who are what they are: gay, handicapped, disabled, psycholgically or physically impaired in anyway, all people, all categories and types??? Why is there a fear in this country to accept. Not reject. I am sure people could refute me and say that this there is no problem and I am negative and overreacting yet think about this, why don't we focus on fixing problems instead of worrying about if a woman does with her body what she pleases. Issues in the government have been stalemated because of this issues alone. Abortion. I can see the points of prolife supporters, the positive points are many, yet our bodies are like our opinions, they are what they are and they are there for us to do with them as we wish. I don't even know who I am writing too but I know that I have to get this out. Logic in my mind is scarce right now when it comes to my opiniosn regarding sorting them and finding hat to use to present to the world.

just some thoughts 9-26-12

If we let it go and stay this way
Our eyes will close forever and the world will stop
The sea washes away the scattered remains of consumerism,
Our earth screams for love, acceptance,
and gives us nothing but sustanance in return
The air catches our scattered pollution
and distributes it throughout the sustaining earth
making great care to give to all
there is constant give from the earth but constant take from its inhabitants
Human intervention is the cause and the solution
and yet we watch the news and the latest story is the royal wedding, the arrest of the latest corporate goon,
The treatment of the earth is a reflection of the treatment of human suffering
capturing the latest famine in Sudan, the war in Libya, the war of Israel and Palestine, is not enough to ease the enormity of it,
Just watching is not enough to help
We can not go in and we just have to watch as the world takes on more and more heavy, deepening contradiction,
As we conserve and recycle, billions of pounds of garbage remain
as we send food thousands of babies die
as we buy our diamonds, our clothes, our cars, our houses,
people die in the name of freedom, in the name of allah, in the name of God,
as we buy our houses someone else is losing theirs,
before they even move out someone is moving in.
when one inch of progress is made there is a detrimental reality waiting to block it.

sustainability

It is kind of a hard word to say and spell yet it is a very important word in our world today. There are truly hundreds of companies who research and support sustainability from corporate and human to environmental. Let's call sustainability something else from now on because it is such a difficult word to type over and over again. Let's call it: long term, basically, how to make things last. That is all it is anyways right? People researching how to make things last. Let's face it if one does not know how to make a corporation last it will fail hence why people need things such as long term , how to make things last, research analysts whom pay scientists, and many other people to promote long term effectiveness. What about long term effectiveness in long term environmental solutions?

Long term goals for our earth for instance are researched and analyzed by hundreds of people who have PHD's in environmental areas of study, such as marine biology or those scientists who study litter in the ocean, I can't remember what they are called. Anyways, millions of dollars is put into answering the question : How do we make the earth last? Well you can probably think of many solutions off the top of your head that would help the earth. So can I, stop littering so the ocean can be clean so the sea animals and fish can have sustainability, stop littering so the giant hundred mile long rings of garbage in the ocean can start to maybe be eliminated. Not littering is at the top of my list for sure. But what about the rain forests, extinct animals and plants, the oceans fish which are literally, no pun intended, being fished off of the earth.

What about the pollution which is giving people cancer in China? What about the logging operations which not everywhere, but in a lot of places, are stealing animals homes and forcing them to move or die. Wow we humans are pretty apt to kick anyone or anything out of whatever we think is ours. I know we live in our modern day and we have our cell phones and our computers, which I am using right now!, and our nice clothes, our nice cars, we have all our manmade prized possessions at our disposal and all we have to do to is not litter or find ways to better dispose of our waste and we don't do it. Instead we, humans, hire people to figure out what went wrong, what we can do better, and all the while the real problems are in our faces. If you thought I was joking about the rings of waste in the worlds oceans, look it up. It is a real thing. Our toothbrushes, hairbrushes, milk jugs, pop bottles, nail files, computer and cell phone batteries, and other parts, we can't recycle everything. Can you imagine how many people in the world own toothbrushes, or drink from milk cartons, or use nail files, or throw away cell phone and computer parts. That is just the beginning. Why not be aware?

I figure the more I know the more I am armed with to go out against the world we live in. The world that has it granduers, it's chaos, it's beauty, and it's pain.....And littering doesn't just mean the little gum wrapper you throw out the car window either, we are littering all the waste we use everyday all over the earth. I am guilty, you are guilty, now how can we all live a little smarter? I think just by educating your self, you get smarter: get it.

discovery

unscripted
unbridled
crafty in my delivery
constant mind maneuvers
go on all the time
given the chance
to be one with another
Going far to the farthest reaches to discover
what? Not yet known.
constant thoughts, deep feelings
unscripted, unbridled
given the chance,
to go far to the farthest reaches to discover.

the stream

all water in the world
eventually makes it to the ocean
even the smallest stream
to the largest lake makes it to the roaring ocean someday
from the African Savannah to Cambodia to China, what happens when the cycle ends
when all the beautiful moist cherished gold is gone
and those places where woman search all day for water for their children, when that last drop is gone
It is gone forever
all the water in the world goes in a cycle and gradually it is diminishing
and the water that is there in some places
is not good enough
it is not pure enough, or clean enough, it may as well not even be there
the Ganges River is a holy river and now it is a holy polluted river
it's water cannot sustain anyone
It can only be holy water for the holy
even water now is commercialized as we drink it from our stores in our bottles
then we throw them away and the very places that have no water or have bad water get to suffer
as we throw our plastic away
that holds our water

a person can live longer without water than they can without food.

check out this link to learn more about water shortages throughout the world.

www.water.org copy and paste it into your browser

common thread

it starts with a needle and thread. goes through the fabric needle point first. then back through it over and over again. each swoop of the needle requires the connection of the needle through the thread....constantly connected and all started from one point. the thread never breaks and constantly moves through itself. this is like life this is like the world.

skeletons in the closet

Skeletons in the closet,
The story is now coming out,
Like a gay coming out of the closet,
This secret is quite shocking,
Even though we see the proof right in front of our faces,
Skeletons that will wake up the world are now coming out,
Taunting skeletons who keep spools of history rolled up under their dark sleeves,
They come and show us destruction based on belief,
Oppression being opposed and the want of freedom drives people to kill or be killed,
The skeletons cannot speak but they can move slowly like ghosts,
Taunting with their secrets,
They taunt like daunting demons,
That stay with a person their entire life,
from childhood to adulthood the demon taunts and daunts until one day it has become too much,
And then those who are taunted strike back at the skeleton,
They strike back and set forth the tide that will carry the world from now on,
Tides of war, disease, catastrophic events will leave people dead in massive numbers,
But this is just the beginning of this skeleton coming out,
Now the people will taunt the writers of the spools to change or accept their fate.

Casualties

We are all the casualties of government control and power,
Yet we do need their help,
Aren't we though, entitled to make decisions along with the government,
It seems less and less like that everyday,
Democracy is becoming just another tool to control people,
Now Michigan's new governor is putting the problems of the entire state on the poor people and working people,
There is now rich and poor, no middle class,
the middle class built this state,
Now the jobs our elder family members had in the industrial era are gone,
We are all casualities of a globalized connected world,
It is great to be connected but some suffe more the more we advance in technology,
Some succeed less and less while some feed off of that to become millionaires,
Amazing MI, I am glad I got to see this in my lifetime because my daughter will know I fought for her, for her future.

maybe we should try backward for a change

Everything is supposed to make us better,
All the products we buy and products we use,
If they say it on a commercial, we are supposed to believe it,
Is your leg moving uncontrollably? Do you have a twitch?
Do your eyelashes need to be longer? How about your butt?
Does it need to be bigger or smaller?
Is your sex life ok?
How about your breasts? Do they need to be bigger, smaller, or just more perky?
Do you have arthritis? Bad gas? Back pain? Low back pain? Upper back pain?
Everything is supposed to make us better, and there is a medication, a product, or a surgery for everything mentioned above,
Do you have night sweats? Do you feel depressed?
Does your mind wander when you are at work?
Do you need help to sleep? Wake up?
Now we have all these medications, products, and surgeries for anything and everything, I could sit here all day and name the illnesses we are told we have, maybe some of us do, but not all,
I could sit here all day and name the different surgeries we are told by the media and Hollywood that we need,
But do we need any of it?
Aren't we beautiful just the way we are?
Fat skinny big small short tall buckteeth no teeth fake teeth fake hair real hair pail or dark skin,
We all are different,
And we are all important,
I think the girls we consider the ugly ones should be captain of the cheerleading squad! Could you imagine the self esteem boost that would have for other girls?
I think the boy who is scrawny and other people think is weird should be the boy who gets the girl, because he will respect and honor her, I wish that the pretty girl would care,
I think that the single mom whom is so intelligent but has always been at the bottom rungs of society should be the CEO of the largest corporation on earth,
I think that she should also run for President, because if she can mold and shape more than one human being into a positive productive member of society than she can run the country! Even the world,
I think backward should be forward,
And right should be left,
We have done it for so long as a society that supposedly does things right,
Maybe we should try backward for a change.

a silk sheet

my heart sleeps on a silk sheet,

It is adorned with hearts that beat lovingly,

My body is loved by a silk heart that glides with me,

Throughout life, day and night,

It shields me and keeps me safe from everything,

My silk sheet is a man, he is strong,

My thoughts are soft and flow and float, a silk sheet in the wind,

I am not in a fog, there is nothing fake here even though my words are so devoted,

My heart sleeps and is kept safe by another strong heart that loves with a passion and a fire,

My passion and fire meets my loves passion and fire,

And the combination is that I succumb to the intense heat,

My barriors are stripped away and my life is easy,

I have a strong shield,

My life is easy,

My heart feels light, and in love,

My love is not dainty, but does flow like a silk sheet in the wind,

I have a place in this love, yet and free to keep myself,

All I ever want is to keep myself and how I am,

All I ever want is for him to keep himself,

Our passions meet, our passion for eachother is fierce, and I love you.

I see the good

though there is bad
there is still so much good
I see it in children
my child
I see it in the young man who still helps the elderly woman cross the street
I see in the way people smile while passing each other on the street
I see it in humanitarian aid provided here and afar
I see it in the books I read about people who never give up on the human spirit
I see it in law enforcement, still working while being paid less and less
I see it in the teachers, still working even though greatly unappreciated by many
though there is bad, we always learn about the bad
But what about the good?
You can come to this country on a dollar and a dime
You can build up an empire with an empire state of mind
You can also fall short and lose your dreams in the wind
But the fact is, you can come here and have the opportunity to try
America gives hope, provides hope to those who come from places where hope is held onto like a frail string falling froma clear sky with nothing to cling to
Any race can succeed here
Any religion can succeed as well, there may be resistance, not everyone likes it but its true
Either gender, man or woman, can partake in government, social, economic affairs of society
Some say the illusion of equality exists
I say that there is proof all over that equality does exist
There are cases where people do not prosper
There are cases where race does get in the way
There are cases where gender does hold someone back
But equality does exist
I see it in the way people strive to give their kids the best, values and possessions
People say that technolgy has made kids lose touch with reality, it has made them fat and antisocial
I say that the world changes all the time, every day new things are invented to make our lives better and more efficient
Is it the consumers fault for being so gullible or is it the manufacturers fault for being greedy, is in neither one?
I say that there are always cases of people who abuse power, honestly this country has been made great by just that, abusing power,
But does everyone abuse power?
Or just a select few that ruin it for everyone?
Is every politician in it for fame and wealth, or do they get into politics to actually shape policy and work for the people?
There are always cases of people who are selfish, they do things for the wrong reasons
Does everyone make choices based on the wrong reasons?
That's what I see
There are always certain people that do not succeed and they do things for the wrong reasons,
If there is one place on the world where one can succeed or fail and it happens to depend on the individual, it is America!
I sometimes highlight the negative aspects of government, society, and education, and more but
I see now that eveything is relative
what really matters is the individual person and their choices
Nobody can control anyone else, it is about influence,
Influence can be worse than control
Because influence shapes a person from the inside out
deep down
I see that there is positive in this time of need
There is positivity in this time of the new era of "survivial of the fittest".

awesome quotes from awesome authors and poets

"Memory believes before knowing remembers. Believes longer than recollects, longer than knowing even wonders." -William Faulkner.

"Pouring out liqour is like burning books." -William Faulkner.

"Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I choose pain." -William faulkner.

to be continued.....

the world

The world
Is falling
Murder
Corruption
Greed
materialism has taken over the roots of our potential
Natural resources
Dwindle
As we spend and spend
The world
Keeps crying
The natural disasters are fits of rage
Fits of mother nature
And father is shaking his head
Corruption in every government of every developed nation = corruption in the governments that are controlled by modern day imperialism,
I love the USA
I would live nowhere else
(Well maybe Europe) lol!
But the USA has been losing touch for a long while
The world is telling us all something with its fits of rage
Education
Government
Society needs reshaping
Into what we all say we want it to be
But we never act
We analyze and throw the world away when our goals are reached
Partisan efforts instead of crossing lines to find solutions that plague our government
(It is getting better?)
Everything is divided
society has divided itself into the haves and the have nots
Corporations have helped but mostly
Society can change
Or stay the same
Society controls what happens (the people-but I think we forgot)
Somewhere we lost sight as human beings.

today

Today I woke up to a new day
I had dirt on my face but I still went forward
Yesterday I saw what could have been a bad life
She was all alone walking with a bunch of kids in tow
There is probably more than one father out and about in the world
Not giving a damn about the outcome of his children's lives
I see what I could have been in the young ignorant girls attracting men
for the rong reasons
Flaunting their bodies representing no respect for oneself in the truest form
Today I saw that my future is bright and my mind is brighter
The knowledge I have obtained thus far in life
Is enough to get me through until the end
Yet I cannot and will not stop obtaining knowledge good or bad
Knowledge is power my Uncle once told me
I have never forgotten those powerful yet short words
They have affected my entire life
I strayed, I made mistakes but I am here
Fulfilling a path that was laid out for me
It has wound through and around every avenue and river that life could flow through
I now know that there are consequences to choices, good or bad
There are consequences to feelings, good or bad, especially when a thought and theory often follow the feelings
Today I realized that knowledge can be a factor that determines how much success one can obtain in their lifetime.